|Photo by kirsche22/stockxchng.com|
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
~Bette Midler (1945-), American singer-songwriter & actress
By definition, as writers we're hoping to achieve some measure of success along the writing road, right?
But if you believe the words of Bette Midler -- who has accumulated accolades and awards to prove she's successful -- then success is going to cost us something.
Our relationships -- our friendships -- with other writers.
I couldn't disagree more with Ms. Midler.
Whenever I've had reason to celebrate something along the writing road, there has always been someone to "happy dance" with me.
I can send an email to my writing buddies. Fast dial a few friends. Put a quick shout out on Facebook. Or show up at critique group and share it face to face with other writers. I've never had to go looking for someone to be happy for me. Quite the opposite. Sometimes I'm amazed by how I'm surrounded by other writers who want to celebrate my successes, both small and large.
|Some of the MBT Ponderers -- celebrating together at ACFW|
Maybe I've managed to get a tough scene to say "Uncle."
Or chopped a huge chunk of writer's block down into itty-bitty pieces.
Or pushed "Send" on a submission.
Or signed on the dotted line with a publisher.
Or finished the galley edits for my debut novel.
The best part of all those successes is how my writing friends have been happy for me.
Now here's the flip-side of this experience: Do I take the time to be happy for others when they experience success?
To be brutally honest, there are times I have to tell the green-eyed monster to go crawl in a hole where she belongs. Envying someone else's achievement is the quickest way to show up at their party and ruin all the fun.
I made the decision early on my writing journey that I wanted to celebrate my friends' triumphs -- not diminish them by wishing they were mine. I want to be happy for my friends when they achieve something -- not be sad for myself.
How have your friends celebrated your successes -- and how have you celebrated theirs?