I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people. How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them. Psalm 111:1-2 NLT

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Word Fruit Salad

Delores E. Topliff

We’ve all done it, gotten our words fractured and said the wrong thing. English clergyman William Archibald Spooner became so famous for his accidental tongue twists with unintentional comic effect, we now call them Spoonerisms. Thanks to fun-with-words.com, the column on the left shows what his hearers heard, often in sermons, and the column on the right shows what the reverend intended to say. After reading these, I’d be a blithering idiot, if I knew how to blither. Now please share the worst word tangle you never hoped to say—and have a great week!

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fighting a liar
lighting a fire
you hissed my mystery lecture
you missed my history lecture
cattle ships and bruisers
battle ships and cruisers
nosey little cook
cozy little nook
a blushing crow
a crushing blow
tons of soil
sons of toil
our queer old Dean
our dear old Queen
we'll have the hags flung out
we'll have the flags hung out
you've tasted two worms
you've wasted two terms
our shoving leopard
our loving shepherd
a half-warmed fish
a half-formed wish
is the bean dizzy?
is the Dean busy?
blow your nose
go and shake a tower
go and take a shower
tease my ears
ease my tears
nicking your pose
picking your nose
you have very mad banners
you have very bad manners
lack of pies
pack of lies
it's roaring with pain
it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick
healing the sick
go help me sod
so help me God
pit nicking
nit picking
bowel feast
foul beast
I'm a damp stealer
I'm a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdle
hypodermic needle
wave the sails
save the whales
chipping the flannel on TV
flipping the channel on TV
mad bunny
bad money
I'm shout of the hour
I'm out of the shower
lead of spite
speed of light
this is the pun fart
this is the fun part
I hit my bunny phone
I hit my funny bone
flutter by
bedding wells
wedding bells
I must mend the sail
I must send the mail
cop porn
it crawls through the fax
it falls through the cracks
my zips are lipped
my lips are zipped
bat flattery
flat battery
would you like a nasal hut?
would you like a hazel nut?
puke on
belly jeans
jelly beans
eye ball
bye all
fight in your race
right in your face
ready as a stock
steady as a rock
no tails
toe nails
hiss and lear
listen here
soul of ballad
bowl of salad

1 comment:

  1. Loved this post since I love spoonerisms. :-) Unfortunately, I can't think of one I've said, but I know I have. lol